…I’m ALREADY on the happy pills. Although apparently not on a very effective dose, hey?
Seriously, I started on Zoloft the day after I had Silas, after being continously advised to by every single practitioner in the OB clinic. Mike and I had agreed that although I was on a really low dose (50mg), that we both felt like I was doing ok, and didn’t need to go up to 100mg like the docs recommended.
I started the 100mg dose last night. And although its clear that my main problem is crazy-insane-over-the-top anxiety, anxiety that I really struggle with every. single. day, and zoloft isn’t the best for anxiety, it is clearly the safest for a breastfeeding mama. After I’m done breastfeeding, I’ll look into something that works better.
For today, after worrying a couple of hours this morning about something that happened 2 years ago that might affect my health in the future but cannot be changed now, I have decided that I am done with this bullpoop (until the next time the monkey on my back gets the better of me).
Today I choose to enjoy my life, the life that I dearly love.
Tonight our friends are throwing us a goodbye party – already there is a boucy castle on the common green outside our house just waiting to be inflated and filled with all of our children. There is a lot of meat sitting in my fridge that a friend dropped off yesterday (because everyone knows I always have room in my fridge). There is margarita mix stored in another friend’s freezer. There is cold beer on the way.
And I WILL NOT LET THE KRAZY DESTROY MY NIGHT! I will let the Lord who loves me take care of everything.
Wish you were all here!