blech

Today was a no good rotten day, as was yesterday for the most part.

Lets see…yesterday:

  • Spent half the day at the hospital: at Emmett’s peds appointment, waiting at the pharmacy, waiting at the Tricare office, waiting at radiology.
  • Missed the time window for going to the gym.
  • Dropped Emmett off at Tracy’s for a few hours, took the other boys to the commissary and then home for a few hours.
  • Then we went back to the base, picked Emmett up and did dinner and a movie with the boys and friends (the last 2 activities being the good part of the day, of course).

Oh, OH, OH!! AND ONE OTHER GOOD THING: Our friends Sarah and Pete had their baby boy! Welcome to the world Baby Bennett!

Today:

  • The boys and I were pretty much confined to the house waiting on Mike’s new laptop battery to be delivered. So that is pretty stupid to begin with.
  • Then Emmett’s PT and ST came to do his new IFSP, which is always a fabulous time: they ask questions like “what’s one goal you have concerning Emmett’s development over the next year?”, “what’s one thing that Emmett could start doing over the next year that would indicate to you that he is forming attachments to you and Mike?” And them saying things like “Emmett had reached a developmental plateau for a long time, and this summer he’s made some progress, but there’s no reason to expect that progress to continue”, and “Of course, we can’t tell you whether he’ll ever walk or not – he its possible that he could surprise us and learn that skill someday”. Not fun.
  • Then I spent the rest of the day worrying myself sick. To the point where I was crying by the time that Mike came home – and then spent the next hour (at least) crying to him about what I was worrying about. And I don’t want to get into what I was worrying about – I’ll let you know if it turns out to be anything, but could you please pray for our family – for our health? We’ve actually got a couple of health issues going on that are on my mind.
  • But anyway, the point is that I spent my day worrying. Ugh – I HATE THAT. What a frapping waste of time. Not to mention a sucker of joy. I didn’t enjoy my kids today because I was too busy worrying about not having enough time to enjoy them. Majorly stupid, right?

Please Lord, let me trust in you. Please keep us all healthy and safe, Lord. But if we can’t be healthy and safe, please let me trust in You still. Please hold us in the palm of Your hand and envelop us in Your love.

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4 Comments

Filed under health issues, life with kids

4 responses to “blech

  1. Jennifer

    Alright girl. You know I love you, right? Cause I do.

    You need to ask your gyn about zoloft. You can take it while nursing. It can change your life. I promise. Your entire outlook. All the worry, all the fear, all the anxiety… the right meds can literally make all of those things either go away or become so much more tolerable.

    I have the most unreasonable, ridiculous fears and worries and obsessions when I am not on meds. Truly, I’m embarrassed to even tell people the crap I find to obsess over. A month on drugs, and I swear to you, I wonder if I’m the same person. Sure, I still worry, I still get sad, and it’s not all flowers and sunshine. But the difference is so astounding that I can’t even really describe it in words.

    It may be that you have to try a few before finding one that is your miracle drug that you would sell a kidney before selling your prescription. And you may not find the absolute best one while still nursing. Zoloft isn’t my favorite, but it’s what they give nursing moms. And it’s enough to get me through til I can take my favorite one again.

    But really, I think you’ll be amazed at the difference, and if you’re not, at least you know you tried it.

  2. Yikes! Sorry you have so much on your plate again (still?) Hopefully once you have the move out of the way that will help, ’cause moving across the ocean has got to be a huge stress, right? And hopefully the health stuff will all be okay. Hang in there. 🙂

  3. Beth

    I’m praying for the health stuff. I hope that things are okay. I know it’s impossible, but try not to worry TOO much. It’s bad for your health! And I agree with Jennifer….I took that while nursing. SUCH a difference. And you know I’m a worrier just like you.

    I talked to Ashley Rivers yesterday. She’s excited to see you again! Call me or let me know when you’ll get here!!!

  4. nora

    Oh Lauren,
    I wish I was there for you to worry to. I wish I could take some of your burdens by just listening and being a friend. We miss you so much…

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