Hey everyone.  We had a good night in the hospital last night.  At 10 he took a whole 3 oz bottle, and then at 1 he took 2 oz.  So he still knows how to swallow, he just doesn’t like to do it.  I think we may have a long row to hoe, but I dared to think that maybe he will get better.

I was thinking last night that while Lauren and I are not exactly fearful of the future, we have lowered our expectations as a way of protecting our hearts and faith if he does turn out to have long term issues.  I know that God is a God of hope, but it is so hard when we have so few tangible improvements.  My mom said yesterday that he looked much healthier than when she saw him on last Saturday, but from our perspective he is pretty much the same as then except now he has a 3 inch scar on his stomach and we have to keep an eye out for adhesions instead of malrotation.  How do you encourage hope in a way that grows faith?  This is relatively new territory for me so I would appreciate any advice.




Filed under health issues

5 responses to “Hope

  1. This post reminded me of a verse in Job, when Job says, “What strength do I have, that I should still hope? What prospects, that I should be patient?” I can’t imagine the struggles you guys are facing, and I wish there was something I could say that would give you hope, or at least a tiny bit of comfort. I’ve never been through any trial like the one you guys are experiencing, so I certainly can’t pretend to know how to get through it, and I don’t have much useful advice. Sorry.

    I also don’t believe that tossing a few Bible passages at a person who is struggling or hurting is going to fix their problems. BUT- having said that, a few of my favorite verses did come to mind as I read this post, and I hope you don’t mind if I share them- lol. I really believe that hope is a gift from God. To me, it’s not something we can drum up for ourselves as much as something He gives us to keep us going. And I believe He can give it even when there seems to be no tangible reason to have it. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” God knows that hope is something we NEED. Hope increases faith, faith increases hope (“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1). and GOD increases BOTH. We can easily get sidetracked, placing our hope in circumstances, things, or people. We want to see the physical evidence and we want to see it RIGHT NOW. I can only imagine how impatient I would feel in your situation, desperate for something hopeful to cling to- any little sign that things are going to be okay (I’m not suggesting you are being impatient, just saying I know I would be). Psalm 62:5-6 says “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.” I believe if we ask God to increase our hope(and faith) IN HIM (not necessarily in, or through, circumstances), He will be faithful to do it. Just as it says in James that God will give wisdom, to those who ask, “generously to all without finding fault,” I believe He will do the same thing for you and give you a reason to hope and increase your faith. And that is how I will be praying for you, in addition to prayers for E.

    I’d also like to say that the strength of character you two have shown through this whole thing just amazes me, and your willingness to be so open and honest, laying it all out there for us to see, amazes and blesses me even more.

    MY hope today is that “…the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds…” (Phil. 4:7) as you continue to wait.

    My only advice to you would be, even if you feel you must lower your expectations, don’t allow yourself to lower your expectations in God (“who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” -Eph. 3:20), or in His abilities, and His love for you and E.

    Sorry to write a book on your blog.

  2. Beth

    This situation seems so hard, and I know that there have been times in my life recently, when I’ve asked why God would make such things happen. Not only with you all, but with a few other family friends as well.

    Recently my husband’s business partner lost his only child, Taylor, in a horrible football accident. He was fifteen years old. Taylor had a measure of faith in Jesus that I have never had. And when this happened, I asked myself, “Where is God in this? Why would he make this happen to these people?” They have no more children, nothing to hold on to in this life shattering situation.
    At Taylor’s funeral, the pastor said some very comforting words to me. He said, “God didn’t make this happen. This was an accident. It just happened, and no one is to blame. This didn’t ‘happen for a reason’. But God will make good in this situation.”
    I liked that and it gave me comfort. I kept asking where God was when this boy died, why he would make this family suffer. And I believe that He didn’t make it happen, but He will find good in ALL things.

    I don’t know if this helps or not….

    The other thing I wanted to tell you about is a friend of mine who is going through nearly the exact same situation with her five month old son. He won’t eat, has to have a NG tube in, etc. They are dealing with some cranial facial things as well, and their son will have to have skull surgery next week.
    She is a woman of strong faith, and she is praying for answers, and trying to believe in total healing.
    E may still have TOTAL healing.

    I’m praying for you guys. Hang in there. You’re doing a wonderful job.

  3. Christina

    I’ve been struggling with this very thing – not the severity of the issue you have with your child, but an issue I’ve been praying for my child to be healed for going on 3 years now… and this is the scripture that has spoken to me recently:

    (Mark 9:14-29)
    And when He came to the disciples, He saw a great multitude around them, and scribes disputing with them. Immediately, when they saw Him, all the people were greatly amazed, and running to Him, greeted Him. And He asked the scribes, “What are you discussing with them?”
    Then one of the crowd answered and said, “Teacher, I brought You my son, who has a mute spirit. And wherever it seizes him, it throws him down; he foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth, and becomes rigid. So I spoke to Your disciples, that they should cast it out, but they could not.”
    He answered him and said, “O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him to Me.” Then they brought him to Him. And when he saw Him, immediately the spirit convulsed him, and he fell on the ground and wallowed, foaming at the mouth.
    So He asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?”
    And he said, “From childhood. And often he has thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”
    Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”
    Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”
    When Jesus saw that the people came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “Deaf and dumb spirit, I command you, come out of him and enter him no more!” Then the spirit cried out, convulsed him greatly, and came out of him. And he became as one dead, so that many said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose.
    And when He had come into the house, His disciples asked Him privately, “Why could we not cast it out?”
    So He said to them, “This kind can come out by nothing but prayer and fasting.”

  4. Hmmm…
    take it one day at a time. Celebrate every single small victory. Don’t look too far into the future, and remember fear NEVER comes from God. I think this journal might be helpful–caringbridge.org and then enter johnlawsonflorer

    This little boy has overcome so much already, and his mom (my best friend from college) is much more eloquent than I could hope to be.

    Still praying for you constantly. You will get through this trial, and life will return to normal…except even better than normal. You will!

  5. So I went to John Lawson’s site and took this:

    “A mother and her broken child…now what is someone like me to do with something like that? But His plan all along was to show me how brokenness could be made whole. It just didn’t have anything to do with me! I was given 2 choices in May of 2005 when for the first time at 9 months old I saw a hole where 65% of the left side of John Lawson’s brain should have been. Was it going to be faith in myself and my power to fix or faith in Him? “Trust me, give him back – he is mine” He said. “No thank you, I am his mother- I will take care of him” I countered. But I knew in my heart that my way would not work in the end. And so I made the choice to let Him show me His way – to trust in what I could not see and believe that He had woven together all the pieces of my past, my present and my future for my good and His glory. It has not been easy – I fall back into my old ways especially in a crisis, but then I return. And through the physical brokenness of this child, the Lord has broken me, taken the pieces and put me back together again – His way. “

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