This morning I’m trying to clean up my sister’s room a little bit, get the boys ready to go to the playground for a while today before the rain set in, get myself ready – you know, forty million things at once. O is watching Peep (I have so so missed this show) and Y is…playing with coins. I take a closer look, and he appears to be rolling his tongue around in his mouth, like there might be a coin in there. “Y!!” I yell, “What do you have – ” and then I see him swallow.
“Y, did you eat that money?” I ask.
“ya!” (you’ve got to think of it being pronounced in a Nordic fashion – we have no idea where he gets this from).
“Did you really eat the money?”
“yaaa,” he says, now in a sad, forlorn Nordic accent.
Of course, I am well aware that if I had asked Y if he had eaten a grenade, “ya” would have been my answer. He is not a reliable source of information, to say the least. But still, this doesn’t mean he DIDN’T eat the coins.
So I call the ER, thinking that they’ll say that kids do this all the time, its nothing to worry about, it’ll pass through on its own, etc. Instead the nurse tells me I’d better bring him in, because what if that penny is sitting there in his throat, teetering on the edge of esophagus and trachea? A penny is about same diameter as that trachea, you know.
So we go to the ER. We actually didn’t have to wait that long, which is a really good thing, because O’s newest thing is to wait until we get somewhere we have to wait awhile, and then announce that he is VERY HUNGRY. Every. 3. Minutes. And if Y hears O say he’s hungry, well then Y is HUNGEEE too, and while O makes his statements with a whine, Y prefers to shout.
The nurse looked at him (I don’t mean examined), ordered some x-rays (which are apparently the equivalent of water-boarding to my son), and the nurse practitioner listened to his chest, looked at the films (which revealed no coins, of course), and pronounced him good. We were outta there – just in time to get to Walmart before the rain came pouring down.
Three things: I don’t get human medicine. When I see an animal patient, even if its for an emergency, they get a full exam (unless we’re talking about the not-breathing, blood gushing, seizing kind of emergency – they’ll get their exam once they’re stable) and a full history taken. That’s the way I was taught – you always do the full exam and history. I have never ever seen a human doctor do this – not even at my children’s well child exams. They seem to rely on the patient (or the patient’s parent) to point out any abnormalities to them. Ummm, aren’t they the doctors? And I get that this is an ER, not a regular doctor’s visit, but it just seems to be a common phenomenon to me. Why don’t doctors do physical exams anymore? Maybe I’m just going to the wrong doctors. If you read this, and you are a doctor, like a family practice doc or pediatrician, can you let me know if you do physical exams? And if you do, is it just at well-child exams, or for any doctor’s visit. I understand that if you’re an ENT, you won’t usually be palpating abdomens, an OB-GYN won’t be looking at ears, and so forth. ANYWAY.
The second thing is Walmart: as always, pretty underwhelming.
And that relates to the third thing, which is: why do Walmart and Target have their boy’s shorts out already (you know, the really cheap faded glory and circo brands?). Is it not early February, for goodness sakes? I NEED MORE CHEAP PANTS FOR THE KIDS. I don’t need shorts for 2 reasons: the circo and faded glory shorts are short shorts, and I prefer board-length shorts for the boys; and last summer, our boys wore shorts maybe 2 times.
* courtesy of Zeeb, from Mrs. Broccoli Guy