the D-word and other no-nos

Since reading Jeannie’s comment on the cha-chas, I’ve been doing some thinking. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

I can’t even remember the last time I thought the word diarrhea in my head. I detest the word “diarrhea”. It is a perfect word for what it is, but its sooo gross – sounding. I can’t remember when I started calling it “cha-chas”, but its been a while now. I don’t even know where “cha-chas” comes from, except maybe the chant “di-a-rrhea, cha-cha-cha”, and I don’t know where I heard that either.

I was talking to a friend last night about Y’s cha-chas, and she started laughing because she had never heard anyone else call the d-word that before. When her family lived in San Antonio, there was a restaurant called Cha-Chas right outside of base (Mexican, of course), and they used to laugh and laugh whenever they passed it, because cha-cha was their word for the d-word, and everyone knows what can sometimes result from eating Mexican food. But I digress.

I know I have used this word in a professional capacity when dealing with sick animals. During a general exam, I can use the d-word, as in “any coughing or sneezing? any vomiting or diarrhea?”. But if an animal actually presented for the d-word, I automatically go into cha-cha mode. The clients seem to appreciate it, actually – nobody really likes talking about bowel movements, but talking about cha-chas seems to make it ok.

Which brings me to the other word I don’t use – testicles. Isn’t that a funny word? It doesn’t gross me out or anything, but I find that I can’t help giggling whenever I hear it. I prefer the word “noonies”. This is also the word I used professionally, which all clients seemed to appreciate, from the moms with kids who don’t want to explain what testicles are, to the big burly men a little bit reticent to neuter their male dogs who prefer to think of those dangly things near the dog’s tail as having nothing to do with their own private parts (and truly, I have no patience for guys who have no intention of breeding their male dogs, but refuse to neuter them because its just too painful to think about. Think about having all that testosterone running through your system all the time and NEVER BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT and then we can talk about painful and cruel – remember Jules in Hattiesburg, Jeannie? What a moron).

Anyway, those are my no-no words. Sometimes I feel like Dr. Elliot Reid in Scrubs, with her “bajingos” and whatnot. Its funny, because I really do have a pretty foul mouth compared to most of my friends. The S-word, the other D-word, the A-word, and even the occasional F-word don’t phase me (although I do try to refrain from their use while the kids are present). I find the B-word and the GD-word pretty offensive (it amazes me that over here in England, they can use the GD word on tv and radio, but not the word ass. How stupid is that?).

How stupid is this post???? Hope y’all are up to more exciting things this weekend.

And Y still has the cha-chas.

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4 Comments

Filed under general living

4 responses to “the D-word and other no-nos

  1. that’s funny! i don’t think i have a code word for testicles, because i don’t think i have ever had to use that word in conversation. i may have to come up with one after the little man arrives (many, many months from now)!!

  2. Beth

    Funny post! I like the word cha chas in place of the d word. I’ll have to use that….
    Hope Y feels better soon! Logan had the cha-chas on and off for about a month. Ugh!!

  3. Jeannie

    I am definitely adding cha chas to my vocabulary. My department chair has lots of names for reproductive organs — kersmackle, hooha, fluffernutter — it goes on and on.

    I would love to be in your office watching when you talk to a client about noonies. Good stuff, right there.

  4. Jennifer

    I maintain that it is not TRUE fun until Mom and Dad join in the cha-cha fun. Preferably in your pants so you can fully appreciate how awful it must be to poop in a diaper.
    Funny story…a friend and her entire gang had some stomach virus from hell about a month ago. She flew out of bed at 4am one morning, and not knowing if she needed to vomit worse or poop worse, frantically yanked her pj pants down as she was hurtling towards the toilet.
    She realized she was already in the process of puking, so she hurls over the toilet with great force. Only the forcefulness of vomiting resulted in a rear explosion at the same time.
    Apparently cha chas all over the bathroom door isn’t much fun to clean up.
    I guess the moral to my story is it could always be worse. You could be shitting on your bathroom door while you puked your guts up in the toilet.
    Now that I have laughed at her all over again, I will likely be depositing cha chas in my own pants in short order as payback.

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